Hellllooooo again friends, family, and lovahs...
Thanks for popping in and checking up on us!! What a week we've had! 1600+miles of fun, fast food, and fat chicks!
Last blog we left off at some bumbleduck (gotta keep it PG or PG 13 here) town and were on our way to Chiiiiicago. We left our first Super 8 unscathed, unharmed, and disease free so all in all success! Chicago wasn't far and I must say it completely delivered! One of my favorite cities in the US by far...reminds me of a cross between Sydney and Melbourne...mixed with a bit of Harlem and Brookyln...not sure how many people will actually relate to that one!
We stayed in an International Hostel right in the downtown part of the city. Now let me explain to most of you that think that hostels are some sort of army barracks, or torture chambers where they kill people starting with the Achilles tendon. It was actually an extremely nice and clean place with lots of cool international people. Most of the people there are just looking for an easy place to crash, but with the chance of meeting a few new friends to go adventure with. Majority were nice and we got on with them really well, there were a few gems in there too that just added to mine and Muff's enjoyment.
First night we went out to some fancy dinner that a Masterchef worked at, but half of the items on the menu were made of goat. It was precious though, and probably the best food we had, and will have on the trip. We then went out and mingled with the locals, telling them all right off the bat that Muff and I were NOT dating just to make sure things were always clear. We met these 2 awesome people, a dude and a chick and they bought us hot pepper shots chased with a pickle..whoaaaa! Hair on your back type of thing; or in Muffs case... PG rated right right.
Anyway, Chicago's touristy things all lived up to their expectation! The "bean" which is that big silver metal sculpture provided some interesting pictures. The Sears Tower was one of the most amazing skyscrapers I've been in. 1450 feet up, with parts of the top floor made of glass so you basically want to throw up just looking down. I didn't though, and I drank a lot the night before, 10 points. Chi-Town's surrounding suburbs is where the real fun is at though. Totally hipster, laid back and tons of bars and vintage shopping. Oh and did I mention a whole gay village? We only went to one bar...and of course I pick the one that is a complete sausagefest. But whatever I still sang karaoke. I thought all gay guys love Backstreet Boys right? Wrong, terrible choice. Especially after following an act that was a Madonna song. Well in the awkwardness of my off pitch voice singing some BSB song, I decided to yell obscene things about Muff, and that she was basically a prostitute..and if you want the cliffhanger to this story text me and I'll tell you the exact wording, not blog appropriate ( Hey Mom!!) I'm surprised she still loves me, I beat the shitake mushrooms out of her that night too, just for fun. Kinda like how Bam Margera beats up his dad, but Muff wasn't on a toilet or anything. That night ended with me buying 7-11 sushi at 5 am. 1) I don't even eat sushi 2) Negative 10 points for Muff for letting me do it 3) Rough morning, very rough. We will be back Chicago!!
Next we did the drive through Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota to the Mall of Amurrrrica. Awesome place, but in the middle of nowhere. Then we were onto South Dakota!!! What a state! Sioux Falls was satisfactory, but holy eel sauce Batman were the Badlands INCREDIBLE. I could have spent days there! Will put up photos very soon...Muff and I climbed, ran, frolicked and then played with a bbgun. 13 year old boys trapped in 24 year old girls bodies, we know. Also, I think I have yet to mention that one of my best bros AMY got me a shakeweight before I left so that I can stay ripped...but for some reason on top of using it to get big I decided to shakeweight in front of famous things or structures and photograph me shakeweighting. So far I've gotten a lot of big name places under my belt..but for some reason people look at me weird when I carry it around? I'm thinking of making a collage of all my "shakeweighting in front of famous things" photos and sending it to them and see if I can be the spokesperson for it. $$$$
We couchsurfed again with this cool dude in Rapid City South Dakota, and what a night we had. We pub crawled 5 or 6 places with one of his friends and got to see good ol South Dakota hospitality. I had a 40 year old or so woman come up to me and say that she walked into a door because she was looking at me and I was "so hot." She was no Stacey's Mom so I just let that one go. Wearing into the night I realized how much of a Cougartown Rapid was, but hey good on em. We went to this one place and Muffy and I were ripping up the dance floor. Rihanna came on (most of you that know me know that this never ends well...) and yeahhh I danced risque with some bigger-boned girls (nahttt moms). We were all havin a blast and danced a few more they found out I was from NY blah blah blah...I go to say bye and they both basically proposition me. Both, at once. They attacked me with their lips at the same time and that was a first, in a few diff ways? I left with my friends that night, I'm not nobody's sandwich. That night ended with us finally getting some good footage with SASQUATCH interviews!! The more intoxicated=the more believable we are! Some people were so into it..all in good fun :)
Next day was another one of those big sunglasses kind of days. Mount Rushmore was sweet, a lot bigger than I thought. Abe Lincolns not a bad lookin dude. I wonder if I'm the only person to ever shakeweight in front of Mount Rushmore? We checked out some cool hole in the wall places in SD and had one very random but very awesome dinner. A PIZZA and CHICKEN BUFFET. Our couch surfing friend's buddy named Steve owned it so we went to check it out. It was a lot of pizza, and a lot of chicken, what a buffet. Muff and I were so amazed, we keep saying Pizza, Chicken..Buffet in an accent. I guess that's what 12 hour in a car will do to ya. Which brings us to today!
12 + hours, 540+ miles, 100+ hills and mountains, lots of snow, towns of population 44 or 50, lots of Rihanna songs, but here we are in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We're obsessed already! Gonna paint the town rainbow tomorrow...
Muff's quote of the week: "We're the 2 worst people to be driving through the midwest; a gay and a vegetarian."
PS Check out my girls new song!!!
Until next time guys!! xxxxx
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