What if I'm not the hero, what if I'm the bad guy...

Hello from the USA for one of the last times..for a long time..

Tomorrow...Muffy and I will be Canadian! Well not legally, but we'll be drinking Molson, saying eh and we're already really pale so we got that covered. But before we get into that...I'll enlighten you on our lives from the past week or so...

Jackson Hole ended up being a really cool cowboy town...so much so that Muff and I had the urge to drink whiskey while listening to Johnny Cash. (?) And while writing out postcards to our loved ones...hence the even more than messy handwriting I usually have. Words came from the heart tho! Whiskey infused heart. But yeah we didn't really see much in the way of nightlife in Jackson because it was one week before the season started and it was a Tuesday or Wednesday. Still an awesome town and the Grand Tetons were pretty sweet! We walked off into uncharted territory in the national park and Muff thought it would be a good idea to talk about how shiddy (PG rated) it would be to see a bear out there on our own. Thats like telling a surfer thats all the way out in the break on a deserted beach to think about sharks. I told Muff I'd sacrifice her and run for it..mostly because I am the only one with the password to the blog.

After Jackson we drove through Idaho and up to Bozeman Montana for the night. Really short stop, just to rest up really and check out the hot springs they're supposedly known for. We were being typical naive tourists thinking that this meant that there was some magical hole in the ground, with warm water and with all sorts of fun colors, and probably Yogi the bear running it. To our surprise, mankind has taken a very modern way of opening up natural hot springs to the public, in the form of a spa. The whole place was like some sort of upscale LA celebrity detox center. You had like 6 different pools, which all are very much natural spring water, but it is in an indoor area with locker rooms and saunas and all. There was one outdoor one which was pretty sweet, like 95 degrees. After we were Lindsey Lohan-ing there we drove all the way to Spokane, Washington.

We couch surfed again with this cool chick Monika right outside of the city. She took us out to a bar that we would have never found otherwise called Babybar and it ended up with us shakeweighting in front of the apple store she worked at. Travel shakeweighting is gonna be a movement soon I can feel it. She was a good time though, thank you again couch surfing! 3-3.

We woke up the next morning before people were probably waking up in NY to reach the epitomy of our journey. It was our pilgrammage to Mecca, our birthright in a sense, our Eat Pray Love moment, our quest to find ourselves..........Forks, Washington...Population 3,175.

If you have never read or seen Twilight or are puking all over the computer from my last statement skip forward to where it says "safe to read..."

The journey into Forks was actually pretty fun. The state of Washington is easily underestimated..it took us nearly 8 hours. (We also passed a town called George. George, Washington ha). Anyway! Once we hit the Olympic Peninsula where Forks is so cleverly located we started to see some Twihards. Everything they say in the movie and books about locations is true. Forks is the wettest place in the continental US and is very far out of the way from major cities, the closest one is Port Angeles. And they are right next to the Quillete Reservation and La Push. Once we hit Port Angeles Muff started shrieking like a little girl, I didn't at all. Not once. First sign from Forks, forget about it. It was as if someone let Bieber run lose in an all girls school. The type that cry and throw underwear and stuff.

The area is actually really beautiful though. The forest, which is actually a rainforest, is exactly the way it looks in the movies. The lakes and mountains were some of the most picturesque we've seen on our trip! Once we rocked up to Forks, with the Twilight soundtrack obnioxously blaring, we headed to La Push for sunset. This was my favorite part of the area; the beach was incredible. The waves were massive, there was barely anyone around and there is so much nature present. It is literally on a reservation so nothing is built up which is nice to see, and the movie barely tweeked what the beach looked like. The city of Forks was a bit different; it was very quaint and hardly ruined by the Twihards. Buttt there wasn't a lot that was filmed here. It gave Stephypoo Meyers a lot of her ideas, but those ideas were stretched and filmed, in Vancouver. A lot of the things that were filmed in Forks were cool, and we may or may not have used Muffs flip camera to reinact the scenes..sober. The locals were really, really friendly though, and they don't seem to mind the Twilightness at all..in fact it made the economy better for their town and helping them chase dat paper. Good on ya, Forks. Some hotels even had overpriced Twilight themed rooms; this means everything from the wall paper to the toilet paper had R Patz, K Stew or Taylor Lautner all over it. Give me a Dakota Fanning room and maybe, just maybe I'll pay for one. She's legal, right? Sad to say Muffy and I stayed in a regular room that night...maybe we'll grace the Bella Suite with our presence next trip to Forks.

SAFE TO READ AGAIN

Once we left Forks I had to drive little Muffypoops to the airport. She had to go home for the week for a personal emergency so it was a good thing I had a wolfpack member living nearby in Olympia, Washingon! Natalie! Nat and her mom so kindly took me in for the week and I have been spoiled here. Real shower, home cooked meals, and on Demand. Yewww. Its nice to see someone from the East Coast again, and they've shown me a great time. Olympia's a fun spot and close by is Portland, Oregon, where we went for a night. Nat, her friend Erica, and I went on a bit of a pub crawl and introduced Nat to what a strip club was. There was a stripper with a tail, no joke. A purple, fuzzy tailed stripper. It was pinned on it wasn't like a growth or anything, but I would never think to include stripper and tail in the same sentence. Anyway eventually we went to a dubstep club. I thought I knew dubstep music until that moment. There is actually a whole nother world to it, I was taken back but could definitely respect it. The dancing was like taking Ke$ha, Bjork, and some zombies and making that outcome have a seizure. People really seem to like it though, and Nat said its a big Pacific Northwest thing. Maybe they're just ahead of everyone and its a thing of the future? Oh yeah and love the awkward moment when you get pinched in the butt and turn around to see it is purple fuzzy tailed stripper that you saw earlier in the night at her place of work. Small. World.

So here I am, all full of turkey and ready to embark on the next part of our adventure. I pick Muffalufagus up tomorrow afternoon and from there we head straight to Vancouver for a few nights to stay with our friend Dave that we met in Australia. Epic reunion in an epic city! Monday we are Whistler bound where we are job and apartment hunting till we find what we're looking for!

If you need to contact me please email or facebook me until I get a Canadian phone!!! We'll update the blog once we do some productive stuff in Canada. Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving and thanks for reading again if you made it this far!!

Peace, Love, and Tails xxxx

Pizza. and. Chicken. Buffet.

Hellllooooo again friends, family, and lovahs...

Thanks for popping in and checking up on us!! What a week we've had! 1600+miles of fun, fast food, and fat chicks!

Last blog we left off at some bumbleduck (gotta keep it PG or PG 13 here) town and were on our way to Chiiiiicago. We left our first Super 8 unscathed, unharmed, and disease free so all in all success! Chicago wasn't far and I must say it completely delivered! One of my favorite cities in the US by far...reminds me of a cross between Sydney and Melbourne...mixed with a bit of Harlem and Brookyln...not sure how many people will actually relate to that one!

We stayed in an International Hostel right in the downtown part of the city. Now let me explain to most of you that think that hostels are some sort of army barracks, or torture chambers where they kill people starting with the Achilles tendon. It was actually an extremely nice and clean place with lots of cool international people. Most of the people there are just looking for an easy place to crash, but with the chance of meeting a few new friends to go adventure with. Majority were nice and we got on with them really well, there were a few gems in there too that just added to mine and Muff's enjoyment.

First night we went out to some fancy dinner that a Masterchef worked at, but half of the items on the menu were made of goat. It was precious though, and probably the best food we had, and will have on the trip. We then went out and mingled with the locals, telling them all right off the bat that Muff and I were NOT dating just to make sure things were always clear. We met these 2 awesome people, a dude and a chick and they bought us hot pepper shots chased with a pickle..whoaaaa! Hair on your back type of thing; or in Muffs case... PG rated right right.

Anyway, Chicago's touristy things all lived up to their expectation! The "bean" which is that big silver metal sculpture provided some interesting pictures. The Sears Tower was one of the most amazing skyscrapers I've been in. 1450 feet up, with parts of the top floor made of glass so you basically want to throw up just looking down. I didn't though, and I drank a lot the night before, 10 points. Chi-Town's surrounding suburbs is where the real fun is at though. Totally hipster, laid back and tons of bars and vintage shopping. Oh and did I mention a whole gay village? We only went to one bar...and of course I pick the one that is a complete sausagefest. But whatever I still sang karaoke. I thought all gay guys love Backstreet Boys right? Wrong, terrible choice. Especially after following an act that was a Madonna song. Well in the awkwardness of my off pitch voice singing some BSB song, I decided to yell obscene things about Muff, and that she was basically a prostitute..and if you want the cliffhanger to this story text me and I'll tell you the exact wording, not blog appropriate ( Hey Mom!!) I'm surprised she still loves me, I beat the shitake mushrooms out of her that night too, just for fun. Kinda like how Bam Margera beats up his dad, but Muff wasn't on a toilet or anything. That night ended with me buying 7-11 sushi at 5 am. 1) I don't even eat sushi 2) Negative 10 points for Muff for letting me do it 3) Rough morning, very rough. We will be back Chicago!!

Next we did the drive through Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota to the Mall of Amurrrrica. Awesome place, but in the middle of nowhere. Then we were onto South Dakota!!! What a state! Sioux Falls was satisfactory, but holy eel sauce Batman were the Badlands INCREDIBLE. I could have spent days there! Will put up photos very soon...Muff and I climbed, ran, frolicked and then played with a bbgun. 13 year old boys trapped in 24 year old girls bodies, we know. Also, I think I have yet to mention that one of my best bros AMY got me a shakeweight before I left so that I can stay ripped...but for some reason on top of using it to get big I decided to shakeweight in front of famous things or structures and photograph me shakeweighting. So far I've gotten a lot of big name places under my belt..but for some reason people look at me weird when I carry it around? I'm thinking of making a collage of all my "shakeweighting in front of famous things" photos and sending it to them and see if I can be the spokesperson for it. $$$$

We couchsurfed again with this cool dude in Rapid City South Dakota, and what a night we had. We pub crawled 5 or 6 places with one of his friends and got to see good ol South Dakota hospitality. I had a 40 year old or so woman come up to me and say that she walked into a door because she was looking at me and I was "so hot." She was no Stacey's Mom so I just let that one go. Wearing into the night I realized how much of a Cougartown Rapid was, but hey good on em. We went to this one place and Muffy and I were ripping up the dance floor. Rihanna came on (most of you that know me know that this never ends well...) and yeahhh I danced risque with some bigger-boned girls (nahttt moms). We were all havin a blast and danced a few more they found out I was from NY blah blah blah...I go to say bye and they both basically proposition me. Both, at once. They attacked me with their lips at the same time and that was a first, in a few diff ways? I left with my friends that night, I'm not nobody's sandwich. That night ended with us finally getting some good footage with SASQUATCH interviews!! The more intoxicated=the more believable we are! Some people were so into it..all in good fun :)

Next day was another one of those big sunglasses kind of days. Mount Rushmore was sweet, a lot bigger than I thought. Abe Lincolns not a bad lookin dude. I wonder if I'm the only person to ever shakeweight in front of Mount Rushmore? We checked out some cool hole in the wall places in SD and had one very random but very awesome dinner. A PIZZA and CHICKEN BUFFET. Our couch surfing friend's buddy named Steve owned it so we went to check it out. It was a lot of pizza, and a lot of chicken, what a buffet. Muff and I were so amazed, we keep saying Pizza, Chicken..Buffet in an accent. I guess that's what 12 hour in a car will do to ya. Which brings us to today!

12 + hours, 540+ miles, 100+ hills and mountains, lots of snow, towns of population 44 or 50, lots of Rihanna songs, but here we are in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We're obsessed already! Gonna paint the town rainbow tomorrow...

Muff's quote of the week: "We're the 2 worst people to be driving through the midwest; a gay and a vegetarian."

PS Check out my girls new song!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXSOOAIkKmY

Until next time guys!! xxxxx

Midwest Swanggg and still no sign of Sasquatch!!

Hey friends, family, and lovahs....

Well we are now concluding day 5 of our adventure, posted up for the night in Michigan City, Indiana. Here's what went down the past few days!!
Leaving NY was surreal; my best friends all made it really hard to go. From throwing me a surprise party, to all the people who were able to come out and make my last week or two memorable, I can't thank you enough. It's the best feeling to know that you can always go back to somewhere you love and people you love! Ok now enough with the mushy stuff this isn't a Norah Roberts novel.

We left NY and headed right to Cleveland to visit our mate we met while working in Australia, Busa. It took a while and I don't recommend that any of you ever drive through the state of Pennslyvania on Route 80, ever. Woof. But we did make it, and it was amazing to walk into a house with a wine cellar and hot tub!! Goodnight, Day one. We had a blast seeing her though, and meeting all of her friends. We scoped out the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in the city, and had a lot of the beers from local microbreweries.

Out in town one night, we went out with about 5 or 6 of Busa's friends. They were asking Muff and I questions about our travels, and about the plans to get out West, and I responded to most things as "we this, we that, we went here, we're going there." Oh not to mention, "we saved up for this together." Now to me, that was just normal, you know, because Muff's my friend. Well to outside strangers, two hippie chicks; one that can pass for Bieber, and the other with a nose ring, it may seem they are more than friends. Yep, the whole group thought for about 2 hours that Muffy and I were dating. HAH! We had a good laugh about it and now we know not to tell stories in such ways.

Another thing I should mention, is that we are playing this little game to keep things interesting; when we go out to public places (usually only the ones where we are consuming adult beverages) we tell people an elaborate story how Muff is on an expedition to hunt down Sasquatch. (and I'm her professional soccer player friend coming along for the ride). We have a pretty good story though; I keep a straight face and tell them it has been her childhood dream to find Sasquatch, and that in the month of December evidence validates there are more sightings than any other month. So hence, we are on our way to British Columbia, while hitting up all of the other hot spots for sightings. We go on and on, to the point where I tell them she has a special whistle and call to lure them in. We'll see how long we can keep this up for before being punched in the face, or taken away...

After Cleveland we headed to Ann Arbor, Michigan. This was a spontaneous, yet excellent choice. Muff and I have heard of this thing called couch surfing and decided to try it out. Before you start passing judgements hear me out. There is a community online called couchsurfing.org, with millions of travelers, hippies, and all around just good people that offer their couch to someone looking for accomodation while traveling. The people that host get verified, so you know they're real people and not sketchy. People have profiles with reviews written about them, their interests, and what they can offer for a stay. It gets quite expensive paying for accom every single night, and we thought this would be a good town to try it out. Ann Arbor is home to University of Michigan and filled with hippies! We contacted a lovely girl named Eve and stayed with her and her partner in an awesome house right in town. We got to meet some really amazing people, learn about the city from locals, and stay for free! I think it's the best way to experience a new place, but mostly connect with some awesome people and hear their stories. We will definitley be trying it out again and we hope that it is a trend that will catch on a lot more in the States!

So after Ann Arbor we kind of drove into Indiana without knowing (THERE WERE NO SIGNS!) but we went back and realized there wasn't that much else to see on the West Coast of Michigan anyway because its the off season, and all the towns worth seeing sit on Lake Michigan. So needless to say, we are now broadcasting from Super 8 Motel in Indiana! Tomorrow we head to Chicaggggoooooooo where we'll be for about 3 nights.

Please do not judge me when Muff puts up a video of me singing while looking like Paul McCartney. I didn't feel like doing my hair for the first time, and come to realize when it's down I look just like the dude. Ughhhh, goodnight.

Till next time lovahs....

Muff's pick of the week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYW6C44zo24

Less than a month until we leave!

It's pretty crazy that it's nearly time to leave New York.. This is the longest I've been in one place in like 6 years?! I'll definitely miss the friends I have here, and my family, and Hamish (by the way I'm going to need someone to drive him to his cricket games every Saturday). I don't know if any of you reading this have ever traveled to the extent where you don't know when you'll be home, and you are taken over with a very nostalgic feeling before you do. The reality starts to sink in and you can't help but think of all the awesome memories and people that have affected you in the place that you're leaving. I must say out of all the times I have pack up and left this one might be the hardest.

However, once the hardest part of leaving is over, the adrenaline of traveling will kick in. Muff and I have a rough draft of the route we will be taking, and I'm going to try and post it on here once I learn a bit more of the mechanics of it. I mean most importantly, we must note that we will ironically be in Forks, Washington when the new Twilight movie premiers haha. But we are shooting for a 2-3 week trek across the U.S. and will wind up in Whistler by mid-end November.

A lot of my friends have been asking why Whistler. From what we have heard, read and seen of it, it is a mecca for international travelers our age. From November to March the place is filled with people from all over the world that love to snowboard, ski, or just see somewhere new and exciting. And hearing the epicness of Whistler from several Australian friends helped sway us as well. Luckily for us we'll be meeting up with a bunch of Aussie mates along the way :)

From Whistler we will take the West Coast down to San Diego, which is our ultimate goal. I'll post more about that once I can wrap my head around it. At the moment trying to conclude up a year here in West Islip, and prepare for the road trip is enough!

If anyone has any advice or tips on anything to do or see across the Northern Route of the states just email me or leave a comment here on the blog!

Next entry I'll share some of the scandalous rules and games Muff and I have prepared to do whilst crossing the country. Just to keep things even more interesting..

Muff wants to listen to this song for the 3,000 + mile journey, on repeat...not too sure why what a crazy Muff she is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ9vkd7Rp-g